The 7 Stages of Trauma Healing: Why Feeling Worse Is Normal
Trauma recovery is rarely a straight path. It's full of unexpected twists, setbacks, and, most notably, some really weird phases. If you've ever felt oddly vulnerable around others, anxious about putting yourself out there, or more reactive than usual, you’re not alone. These experiences are common within the 7 stages of trauma healing, even though they’re rarely talked about. Let’s explore why they happen and how to navigate them.
1. Feeling Awkward in the 7 Stages of Trauma Healing
After surviving with your typical trauma response, it can feel strange to just be around others. Social situations may feel exhausting, conversations awkward and even small moments of joy feel unfamiliar. This is all normal. It shows you are moving out of survival mode and starting to live differently.
What Helps:
Remember that discomfort does not mean you are doing something wrong. It means you are trying something new.
Take small steps to connect with others while also respecting your energy.
Practice self-kindness as you relearn how to be present in relationships.
2. Anxiety with Being Seen
Healing often means reclaiming your identity or expressing your needs. If you were taught to make yourself small, stepping into visibility can feel terrifying. Whether it’s speaking up at work or posting something vulnerable online, there’s often an underlying fear; “Will I be judged?” or “Will I be rejected?”
What Helps:
Acknowledge that your anxiety comes from past experiences, not the present.
Take small risks to express yourself and build confidence.
Remind yourself that you deserve to take up space.
3. Feeling Overly Sensitive
As your body and mind adjust, it’s common to swing between feeling too numb and feeling too much. You might notice heightened emotional reactions, such as irritation or feeling overly sensitive to criticism.
What Helps:
Recognize what triggers strong reactions and use grounding techniques like deep breathing. movement, or gentle movement.
Give yourself permission to step away from situations that feel overwhelming.
Talk with people who make you feel safe and supported.
4. The “Who Am I?” Phase
Healing can reveal how much of your identity came from surviving trauma. Without the constant pressure of hypervigilance or over-performing, you may find yourself asking, “Who am I when I’m not just surviving?” This can feel both freeing and unsettling.
What Helps:
Explore hobbies and activities that feel meaningful to you.
Give yourself time to discover who you are beyond old roles and coping mechanisms.
Accept the fluidity of your identity. It’s okay to evolve and grow in ways you might not have expected.
5. Missing the Familiar
It is normal to miss the familiarity of old patterns, even if they were harmful. Change can feel scary because the unknown feels uncertain.
What Helps:
Be mindful when you feel drawn to comfortable habits, while reminding yourself why you chose to heal.
Surround yourself with reminders of your progress.
Lean on people who celebrate your growth.
6. Facing Loss and Grief
While healing can feel hopeful at times, it also requires facing losses you may not have fully acknowledged; loss of innocence, relationships, roles, or old ways of coping. This stage can feel deeply uncomfortable because grief isn’t linear, and revisiting pain can feel like it pulls you backward before you move forward.
What Helps:
Give yourself permission to feel loss without rushing through it.
Create rituals or journaling practices to honor what you’ve lost.
Lean into compassionate support. Grief shared is often grief lightened.
7. Finding Connection
Recovering from trauma often means outgrowing old social patterns and needing people who understand or validate your experience. To get through this stage, it's all about finding safe, supportive connections that help you feel seen and less alone, which is vital for sustained healing. Isolation is a survival response; connection is a recovery response.
What Helps:
Seek out community spaces (support groups, therapy groups, workshops) where healing is the focus.
Nurture relationships that encourage growth, safety, and honest reflection.
Let supportive people witness your progress and remind you of how far you’ve come.
Moving Forward With Support
If you are going through any of these awkward or uncomfortable stages of trauma recovery, take heart that you are not broken and you are not alone. Healing is not just about feeling better; it is about feeling everything, even the anxious, raw, and confusing moments. The discomfort shows that you are stepping into a new, stronger way of living.
Keep going. You are building a life beyond just surviving, and that is something to be proud of. If you want extra support along the way, individual trauma therapy can help you navigate these stages.
You might also find our related post helpful, Healing from Trauma: Seven Stages to Trauma Recovery.
